The Power Behind the Word?

How do words impact your life? Specifically, how do the words you use impact your life and the lives around you? 

What about profanity?  Have you chosen to omit profanity from your life?  Is the use of profanity around you offensive?  Or does it not phase you?  Do you use profanity?  And if so, are you able to filter your use dependent upon your situation/location/audience? 

For me, profanity has not really been a huge deal for me.  My parents weren't adamantly against swearing, but I know it wasn't their first choice of sentence enhancers.  I don't have any recollection of profanity being a regular part of conversation in our household as a child.  They certainly didn't approve of my brother and I from swearing freely when we were growing up.  They would often tell us that the use of "those words" simply weren't necessary.  But I'm sure they were aware we said things out of their earshot.


As a young adult, I learned that while rarely used in conversation publicly, my mom's favorite swear word was "FUCK."  She told me once that she found a great deal of power in that word.  She didn't care for the use of it in every day life - as she certainly felt there was a "time and a place" for the use and inclusion of it in conversation.  But she described it as if it were the physical action of planting your feet and standing strong in the face of a battle. 


It's safe to say that my brother and I have both adopted an affection for the mom's favorite word, ourselves.  And we can both say we use it far more regularly than she ever did.  I have been known to use it as a noun, a verb, an adverb, and an adjective!  I've found quite a bit of versatility in the word depending upon the situation. I am, however, most definitely able to substitute and filter myself based upon my audience and/or location - often with the most unique phrases I can come up with. 


For instance, when I can't proclaim, "What the fuck?" I ask, "What the farfignutten?"  And when I am stunned and want to say, "Well Fuuuuuck!" I instead say, "Well Fiddlesticks!"  Oh!!  A crowd favorite replacement to, "Shut the fuck up!" is, "Shut the front door!!"  That one usually grabs everyone's attention with a double-take. 


I could go on, but you get the picture.  Honestly, I substitute words for all varieties of profanity - because I, too, believe there is a time and a place for everything.  The ability to recognize that requires a degree of maturity and responsibility.  I do swear in the presence of my children.  And I have used varieties of non-sensical word replacements as well. I have tried to raise my children in the same ways my parents raised me.  They see me as I am: real and raw, faults and all.  I ask them to avoid the use of profanity.  I ask their friends who come over to avoid the use of profanity.  And in return, I try to limit my use of profanity as well. 

Here's some unpopular opinion: I fully believe there are situations in which a distinct type of word power is deserving - and therefore profanity is 100% justified.  I'd like to provide an example of what I mean.

But first let me ask you - have you ever wanted to give up?  Really and truly give up and throw in the towel? Have you ever been so exhausted and so overwhelmed with the weight you carried that you wondered how you could continue to fight?  Have you ever wondered how it is possible to take one more breath?  Or wake up one more day in your life?  Have you ever asked yourself and God, "What's the point? Why must I bother??" Well, if you have, then you might understand the gravity and the power behind the message in the photo below.


That's where I was a little more than 15 months ago.  Many people recognized that in me and worked hard to hold me up in all the ways I needed in order to keep me going.  One of my best friends gifted me a simple, but beautiful bracelet with a message inscribed on the inside that said: "keep fucking going..."  I have worn that bracelet every single day since I received it as a constant reminder and as a source of strength. 


Around the same time I received that gift, my brother's health was rapidly failing and he was heading into the most challenging battle of his entire life.  I decided to share this message with him because I knew that the weight I felt as a healthy person must have only be a fraction of what he was feeling every day in the face of an impending heart transplant.  I couldn't bear the thought of him giving up the fight.  I needed him to keep fucking going.  And so birthed the hashtag that accompanied every social media update I posted, and every personal message sent from me to him.  I found it fitting that in honor of his journey and unbelievable strength, I wanted to forever have "our" mantra tattooed on my right arm, including the date he received the gift of life... his new heart.


Will people be shocked? Probably.  Will people disagree with my decision? Maybe.  Do I care? Nope.  Do I regret my decision to have this reminder permanently added to my body? FUCK no.  I look at my right arm countless times, every single day, and am reminded that giving up is not an option for me.  Not today, not ever.  There is power in this word for us - and it deserves a place where it can be seen and honored.


Artist: Teague Mullen
Studio: Dark Horse Tattoo Parlor - Fort Wayne, IN